Sunday, 12 April 2015

Becoming Your Own Hero | Part 3: Fashion & Style

 I was recently told (by two different friends) that I dress like a boy.  I was told by a separate person that I dress 'not very feminine'. 

I will admit that I am not a very 'girly' girl and I know I don't make a lot of effort most of the time when it comes to what I'm wearing.  My everyday wardrobe will almost always consist of a band t-shirt, black skinny jeans and, my trusty black hoodie.
If I'm wearing shorts I will always wear leggings or tights with them, even during the summer.
I own a very small number of dresses (3 to be exact) and they are lucky if they leave my wardrobe once a year.
I don't wear very much colour, to the point where people are surprised when I'm not wearing black.

But even though I know all this about myself, I was still really hurt when I was told by people who I consider as friends that I dress like a boy and, I'm still really upset about this.
I am quite a girly girl, I just don't know how to show that when it comes to my wardrobe content.

When it comes to fashion I will admit I am quite clueless.  When I go shopping for clothes, 99% of the time I feel like a fish out of water.   I see a lot of clothing items in high street stores that I like but, I can never see myself wearing them. 
My mum has been so supportive recently when I've been going shopping and having (sort of) breakdowns in shops (and getting quite tearful at many points) because I'm so frustrated with myself when it comes to clothes.
Last week I did buy some new tops that are all quite plain and not the most girly but, for me they are different in that they're not band t-shirts and may have small details that make them more 'dressy' or even slightly girly. 

When it comes to fashion, style and, clothes, I think what makes me struggle so much is that I don't feel confident within myself.
 I don't have a 'style'.  I don't tend to put a lot of thought into my outfits.
On the most recent event in which I did put some effort into my outfit.  I was really pleased with it, I was wearing one of my tops I bought last week for the first time. 
Though I guess I'm now realising it wasn't anything special because this was also one of the times that I was told I dress like a boy. 
In this instance of having put effort into my outfit and then being told I dress like a boy, it was when I was telling a friend about the first time that someone had said this to me (the first instance happened not that long ago).  But before I got the chance to tell her how much it had upset me she went on to say 'well you do dress like a boy' and, I decided to change the subject.
So, the little confidence that I was starting to gain in my wardrobe and what I was wearing was then shot down into the double negatives by someone who is supposed to be my friend.
(This is the outfit I was wearing that I'd put quite a bit of effort into.  Also, it isn't very clear in the photo so I thought I'd clarify that I'm wearing shorts and tights, not jeans)
 I think that in order to try and gain some confidence in what I'm wearing, I need to be more confident in myself but also, I need to just aim to please myself when it comes to my clothes.
I'll admit that this is going to be pretty tough, considering I don't really know what I want my fashion sense/style to be but, I'm hoping that I'm able to figure something out that makes me both happy and comfortable in my clothes.
And what will be even tougher is finding some confidence in myself but, I feel that confidence in my outfits will come when I am able to find some self confidence.
I think that when it comes to fashion the key is to reflect who you are as a person.  So for me, I guess that's someone who is quite shy (but trying to change that), loves reading and writing and, just so happens to love modern punk music but is also quite girly.
I know that I will be struggling for quite a while longer when it comes to fashion mainly because the comments I mentioned have left quite a big dent in my confidence. 
But hopefully I'll be able to move forward from them soon and gain some confidence in my wardrobe and personal style.
If you're in the same boat as me when it comes to fashion, then let me know in the comments what you're going to try in order to gain some confidence in your wardrobe, we can all support each other.
Also let me know what things you do/would like to do to reflect your personality through your wardrobe, I'd love to hear about your creativity and ideas.
And, if you have any confidence tips or style advice on anything that I've mentioned in this post, then that would be greatly welcomed and appreciated by myself in the comments!