Thursday, 22 December 2016

Delight & Be Dependent




Last month I met up with my wonderful friend Annie for a day out in St Andrews.  We had such a good catch up and of course, we talked about boys.  The last time I saw Annie (almost a year ago) I had a pathetic crush that I was convinced was such a big deal and I was acting like an idiot around him.  But now I can't even remember who I had a crush on or why I had even liked this boy. 
Since said crush I haven't really liked a guy, and it's been wonderful.  There was a stage when I thought I liked someone but I'm realising I just liked the idea of a relationship, not actually him. 



Me and Annie talked about my stupid crushes and how I want to leave all that behind, and I've recently been talking to one of my friends about being single and how that's affecting me at the moment. 

Like many other girls I dream of the day that I meet the guy that God wants me to be with.  I pray about him, I think about him, and I feel very lonely sometimes because I'm yet to meet him.  And I'm getting impatient. 

But God's telling me something different.  He's telling me to wait.  He's telling me to be patient.  He's telling me to trust Him.  He's telling me to fully depend on Him before I even think about depending on a guy.  And for the first time ever when it comes to this, I'm listening to God.  I'm not ready and I'm finally accepting that from Him because the waiting is part of His plan. 




I'm trying my best to grow in my faith and deepen my relationship with my God first, because if that isn't right then nothing else will be.  But, being patient is tough and I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in feeling this way girls.  When we've been longing for something and praying for something for so long and God's reply is to be patient, we can sometimes feel a bit deflated. 

But girls, the waiting is so worth it.  I'm slowly trusting God with more of my heart, leaning on Him more, and learning what it means to fully depend on Him.  Girls, I can't even explain to you how amazing it feels.  Knowing that I'm growing closer to God and that He's working in me for when I do meet the guy He has for me is wonderful.  I'm learning to accept that He is in control, His timing is perfect, and I should fully depend on Him. 

Just think about that for a moment girls.  God has a plan for you.  He knows what He wants you to do with your life, who He wants you to meet, the people you'll impact and the many ways you can serve Him.  He knows the deepest desires of your heart as well as the little things in life that drive you mad but you don't know why.  He knows who He wants you to marry, or if He even wants you to get married.  He has a unique plan for you, we just need to learn what it means for us each to depend on Him. 



I want to depend on Him and have His will for me, whatever that may be, at the centre of my heart.  I want to live for Him however I can and I want to say that I fully trust Him and depend on Him and the amazing plan that He has for me as His daughter. 



Carolyn 
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