Tuesday, 27 February 2018

Twenty One



Twenty one.  A mixture of happy and homesick.  A mixture of thankful and thoughtful.  Unsure of how to balance it all yet feeling weightless at the same time. 

Twenty one years of laughter and heartache, learning and mistakes, and learning from mistakes.  Twenty one years of  having my heart impacted by people, the blessing of family, and friends who feel like family.  Twenty one years of growth and exploring, love and loss, strength and fragility. 

Twenty one years, countless heartbeats, immeasurable moments; all held together by the beauty of His grace.  It's strange to think that the One I once ran away from is now the One who I am constantly running to; calling His name and aching for His presence.  That even though I am so unworthy of His love, my Heavenly Father is crafting together my life with the most intricate detail and precision. 

Twenty one years of His beauty on display for all to see, although often messily hidden by my selfishness.  Now His reckless love shines through and He uses my broken past as the platform to display His mercy and the transformation only he can bring.  The cracks in my fa├žade give way to a light that is far more powerful than my brokenness.  Years of feeling lost and now I am facing the future years with Him by my side, never leaving me and always loving me. 

Twenty one years old and yet, a child to my Heavenly King. 


Carolyn 
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Tuesday, 20 February 2018

A Settling Heart




It's strange how quickly He can make my heart settle.  Even when I fight Him, even when I'm reluctant, even when I just want to dip my toe in He pulls me head first into the deep end.  He forces me to trust and shows me the beauty in being brave.  He shows me that He is faithful even when I am faithless, that He is with me even when I am unlovable, and that He is gracious even though I am so undeserving. 

He settles my heart with the sunlight that's dancing on the wood, the way that it tugs at my heart and reminds me of home.  Something so simple yet it solidifies the moments for me.  Reminding me that I am here, in this moment, and so is He.  My heart aches for home yet He brings me comfort; joy in the unexpected and a love for Him that far outweighs my fears and anxieties. 

He is at work in my heart in a time when I am learning that He alone is home, that His grace is unbounding and that I need to get up and keep trying no matter how many times I fall, that He is holding me so much closer than I can understand, and that he has blessed me far beyond my worth. 

It's strange how quickly He can make my heart settle.  Yet at the same time it simply makes sense, that He alone, my Heavenly Father, can settle my heart. 


Carolyn 
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