Saturday, 24 March 2018

His work in progress.




"Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting."
Psalm 139:23-24


The refining isn't easy or always wanted, but it is necessary.  Slowly but surely He is teaching me to let go of my selfishness and to embrace His grace instead.  It's taking practice but He brings me comfort when I dwell in my brokenness; I am His work in progress.  Despite my failings, He is showing me His light and His love. 

He is shining in the hearts of those around me, and in the hearts of those I have left behind.  The hearts that I am holding so dearly in my own.  He is shining in the unexpected kindness and in the intricate details that only He could compose.  He is shining in my heart and I am thankful for the warm glow that He is nurturing within me. 

The love I feel is but a fragment of the love that He has for me.  It is overwhelming yet I want more and more; to be constantly in awe of His great love.  To be running to Him despite my failings and looking for ways to love Him more. 

It's a foreign love and an uncomfortable grace.  He knows me and yet He loves me.  He knows me yet He still loves me.  It can be difficult to accept and so I try to go on without it, only to fall on my knees and be reminded that there is no way I can do this without Him. 

The refining is sometimes painful, I long for the results but my stubborn heart can be so reluctant and so selfish.  And yet, He is there with an open love that whispers my name and calls me His own.  I am His, and I am His work in progress. 



  Carolyn 
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Monday, 12 March 2018

He is still good.





Waking up to sunlight dancing across the white stone wall; delicate and elegant.  It is comforting and reminds me that today is all I have to face and that He is by my side.  I feel as though I am entering this season a little unprepared and fragile, but I am thankful that He is unchanging.  Thankful that He is still good. 

Taking off the unrealistic expectations I have placed on others and learning the vitality of looking to Him first.  That while I am dwelling on my brokenness and clinging equally tight to my pride and my shame, He is still good. 

Attempting to face each day on my strength, allowing selfishness to rule in my heart, forgetting that I am a work in progress, that striving for perfection will break me even more than I can imagine.  My heart has been scattered and fragile yet He has brought comfort and care, He is still good. 

Setting up home in my brokenness when I fall down, then a wave of His grace crashes against my heart and throws me into the swell of His reckless love.  Washing up on the shore and as my eyes flicker open He is there to hold me and help me, He takes up all my view and I feel safe.   He helps me up and guides me to put one foot in front of the other. Although I'm a little reluctant and prone to wander, He is still good. 

The sunlight is still dancing across the white stone wall; delicate and elegant.  It is comforting and reminds me that today is all I have to face and that He is by my side.  Although I feel I am entering this season a little unprepared and fragile, he has given me a pulse and therefore He has given me a purpose.  I am thankful that He is unchanging.  Thankful that He is still good.  My Heavenly Father is still good. 


Carolyn 
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